Wednesday, December 23, 2009

"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful." - Albert Schweitzer.

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Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.

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Monday, December 21, 2009

Don't play games with a girl who can play better...


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Friday, December 18, 2009

There seems to a difference of opinion between you and me : what you call a dead wood, to me is home of million lives from a tiny insect to a butterfly. -courtesy - ahsan


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Thursday, December 17, 2009

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance


Smart man + dumb woman = affair


Dumb man + smart woman = marriage


Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
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OFFICE ARITHMETIC


Smart boss + smart employee = profit


Smart boss + dumb employee = production


Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion


Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

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SHOPPING MATH


A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.


A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
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GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS


A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.


A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.


A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

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HAPPINESS


To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.


To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

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LONGEVITY


Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

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PROPENSITY TO CHANGE


A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.


A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

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DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE


A woman has the last word in any argument.


Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

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HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED


Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'You're next.' They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

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Saturday, December 12, 2009

"Just when you realize life's a bitch, it has puppies." -Adrienne E. Gusoff Hat tip to Sarcasm Society


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Wednesday, December 9, 2009

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

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Friday, December 4, 2009

Everyone is gifted - but some people never open their package.

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Wednesday, December 2, 2009

The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything :
They just make the best of everything they have.

Cyrus

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Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Acknowledgement

I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around. We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels.

My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said, 'This Is the Receiving Section. Here, all petitions to GOD said in prayer are Received..'

I looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many angels sorting out petitions written on voluminous paper sheets and scraps from people all over the world..

Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second section.

The angel then said to me, 'This is the Packaging and Delivery Section. Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them.'

I noticed again how busy it was there. There were many angels working hard at that station, since so many blessings had been requested and were being packaged for delivery to Earth

Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the Door of a very small station To my great surprise, only one angel was Seated there, idly doing nothing. 'This is the Acknowledgment Section,' My angel friend quietly admitted to me. He seemed embarrassed 'How Is it that there is no work going on here?' I asked.

'So sad,' the angel sighed. 'After people receive the blessings that they asked For, very few send back acknowledgments .'

'How does one acknowledge GOD's blessings?' I asked.

'Simple,' the angel answered. Just say, 'Thank you, LORD.'

'What blessings should they acknowledge? ' I asked.

'If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of this world. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy .'

'And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world who has that opportunity. '

Also ......

' If you woke up this morning with more health than illness ... You are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day .'

'If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation .. You are ahead of 700 million people in the world.'

'If your parents are still alive and still married ...you are very rare .'

'If you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm, you're unique to all those in doubt and despair.'

Ok, what now? How can I start?

If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you as very special and you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.


ATTN:

Acknowledge Dept.: 'Thank you Lord, for giving me the ability to share this message and for giving me so many wonderful people to share it with.